SCENE I
SOSIE
Who goes there? Eh? My fear grows with every step. Gentlemen, I am a
friend to all the world. Ah! What unparalleled boldness, to be out
at this hour! My master is crowned with fame, but what a villainous
trick he plays me here! What? If he had any love for his neighbour,
would he have sent me out in such a black night? Could he not just
as well have waited until it was day before sending me to announce
his return and the details of his victory? To what servitude are thy
days subjected, Sosie! Our lot is far more hard with the great than
with the mean. They insist that everything in nature should be
compelled to sacrifice itself for them. Night and day, hail, wind,
peril, heat, cold, as soon as they speak we must fly. Twenty years
of assiduous service do not gain us any consideration from them. The
least little whim draws down upon us their anger.
Notwithstanding this, our infatuated hearts cling to the empty
honour of remaining near them, contented with the false idea, which
every one holds, that we are happy. In vain reason bids us retire;
in vain our spite sometimes consents to this; to be near them is too
powerful an influence on our zeal, and the least favour of a
caressing glance immediately re-engages us. But at last, I see our
house through the darkness, and my fear vanishes.
I must prepare some thought-out speech for my mission. I must give
Alcmene warlike description of the fierce combat which put our
enemies to flight. But how the deuce can I do this since I was not
there? Never mind; let us talk of cut and thrust, as though I were
an eyewitness. How many people describe battles from which they
remained far away! In order to act my part without discredit, I will
rehearse it a little.
This is the chamber into which I am ushered as the messenger: this
lantern is Alcmene, to whom I have to speak. (He sets his lantern on
the ground and salutes it.) 'Madam, Amphitryon, my master and your
husband, ... (Good! that is a fine beginning!) whose mind is ever
full of your charms, has chosen me from amongst all to bring tidings
of the success of his arms, and of his desire to be near you.' 'Ah!
Really, my poor Sosie, I am delighted to see you back again.'
'Madam, you do me too much honour: my lot is an enviable one.' (Well answered!)
'How is Amphitryon?' 'Madam, as a man of courage should be, when
glory leads him.' (Very good! A capital idea!) 'When will my heart
be charmed and satisfied by his return?' 'As soon as possible,
assuredly, Madam, but his heart desires a speedier return.' (Ah!)
'In what state has the war left him? What says he? What does he?
Ease my anxiety.' He says less than he does, Madam, and makes his
enemies tremble.' (Plague! where do I get all these fine speeches?)
'What are the rebels doing? Tell me, what is their condition?' 'They
could not resist our efforts, Madam; we cut them to pieces, put
their chief, Pterelas, to death, took Telebos by assault; and now
the port rings with our prowess.' 'Ah! What a success! Ye Gods! Who
could ever have imagined it? Tell me, Sosie, how it happened.' 'I
will, gladly, Madam; and, without boasting, I can tell you, with the
greatest accuracy, the details of this victory. Imagine, therefore,
Madam, that Telebos is on this side. (He marks the places on his
hand, or on the ground.) It is a city really almost as large as