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Moon-Face
Jack London
John Claverhouse was a moon-faced man. You know the kind, cheek-bones wide apart,
chin and forehead melting into the cheeks to complete the perfect round, and the nose,
broad and pudgy, equidistant from the circumference, flattened against the very centre of
the face like a dough-ball upon the ceiling. Perhaps that is why I hated him, for truly he had
become an offense to my eyes, and I believed the earth to be cumbered with his presence.
Perhaps my mother may have been superstitious of the moon and looked upon it over the
wrong shoulder at the wrong time.
Be that as it may, I hated John Claverhouse. Not that he had done me what society would
consider a wrong or an ill turn. Far from it. The evil was of a deeper, subtler sort; so
elusive, so intangible, as to defy clear, definite analysis in words. We all experience such
things at some period in our lives. For the first time we see a certain individual, one who
the very instant before we did not dream existed; and yet, at the first moment of meeting,
we say: "I do not like that man." Why do we not like him? Ah, we do not know why; we
know only that we do not. We have taken a dislike, that is all. And so I with John
Claverhouse.
What right had such a man to be happy? Yet he was an optimist. He was always gleeful and
laughing. All things were always all right, curse him! Ah I how it grated on my soul that he
should be so happy! Other men could laugh, and it did not bother me. I even used to laugh
myself--before I met John Claverhouse.
But his laugh! It irritated me, maddened me, as nothing else under the sun could irritate or
madden me. It haunted me, gripped hold of me, and would not let me go. It was a huge,
Gargantuan laugh. Waking or sleeping it was always with me, whirring and jarring across
my heart-strings like an enormous rasp. At break of day it came whooping across the fields
to spoil my pleasant morning revery. Under the aching noonday glare, when the green
things drooped and the birds withdrew to the depths of the forest, and all nature drowsed,
his great "Ha! ha!" and "Ho! ho!" rose up to the sky and challenged the sun. And at black
midnight, from the lonely cross-roads where he turned from town into his own place, came
his plaguey cachinnations to rouse me from my sleep and make me writhe and clench my
nails into my palms.
I went forth privily in the night-time, and turned his cattle into his fields, and in the
morning heard his whooping laugh as he drove them out again. "It is nothing," he said; "the
poor, dumb beasties are not to be blamed for straying into fatter pastures."
He had a dog he called "Mars," a big, splendid brute, part deer-hound and part blood-hound,
and resembling both. Mars was a great delight to him, and they were always together. But I
bided my time, and one day, when opportunity was ripe, lured the animal away and settled
for him with strychnine and beefsteak. It made positively no impression on John
Claverhouse. His laugh was as hearty and frequent as ever, and his face as much like the
full moon as it always had been.
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Then I set fire to his haystacks and his barn. But the next morning, being Sunday, he went
forth blithe and cheerful.
"Where are you going?" I asked him, as he went by the cross-roads.
"Trout," he said, and his face beamed like a full moon. "I just dote on trout."
Was there ever such an impossible man! His whole harvest had gone up in his haystacks
and barn. It was uninsured, I knew. And yet, in the face of famine and the rigorous winter,
he went out gayly in quest of a mess of trout, forsooth, because he "doted" on them! Had
gloom but rested, no matter how lightly, on his brow, or had his bovine countenance grown
long and serious and less like the moon, or had he removed that smile but once from off his
face, I am sure I could have forgiven him for existing. But no. he grew only more cheerful
under misfortune.
I insulted him. He looked at me in slow and smiling surprise.
"I fight you? Why?" he asked slowly. And then he laughed. "You are so funny! Ho! ho!
You'll be the death of me! He! he! he! Oh! Ho! ho! ho!
What would you? It was past endurance. By the blood of Judas, how I hated him! Then
there was that name--Claverhouse! What a name! Wasn't it absurd? Claverhouse! Merciful
heaven, why Claverhouse? Again and again I asked myself that question. I should not have
minded Smith, or Brown, or Jones--but Claverhouse! I leave it to you. Repeat it to
yourself--Claverhouse. Just listen to the ridiculous sound of it--Claverhouse! Should a man
live with such a name? I ask of you. "No," you say. And "No" said I.
But I bethought me of his mortgage. What of his crops and barn destroyed, I knew he would
be unable to meet it. So I got a shrewd, close-mouthed, tight-fisted money-lender to get the
mortgage transferred to him. I did not appear but through this agent I forced the foreclosure,
and but few days (no more, believe me, than the law allowed) were given John Claverhouse
to remove his goods and chattels from the premises. Then I strolled down to see how he
took it, for he had lived there upward of twenty years. But he met me with his saucer-eyes
twinkling, and the light glowing and spreading in his face till it was as a full-risen moon.
"Ha! ha! ha!" he laughed. "The funniest tike, that youngster of mine! Did you ever hear the
like? Let me tell you. He was down playing by the edge of the river when a piece of the
bank caved in and splashed him. 'O papa!' he cried; 'a great big puddle flewed up and hit
me.'"
He stopped and waited for me to join him in his infernal glee.
"I don't see any laugh in it," I said shortly, and I know my face went sour.
He regarded me with wonderment, and then came the damnable light, glowing and
spreading, as I have described it, till his face shone soft and warm, like the summer moon,
and then the laugh--"Ha! ha! That's funny! You don't see it, eh? He! he! Ho! ho! ho! He
doesn't see it! Why, look here. You know a puddle--"
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But I turned on my heel and left him. That was the last. I could stand it no longer. The thing
must end right there, I thought, curse him! The earth should be quit of him. And as I went
over the hill, I could hear his monstrous laugh reverberating against the sky.
Now, I pride myself on doing things neatly, and when I resolved to kill John Claverhouse I
had it in mind to do so in such fashion that I should not look back upon it and feel ashamed.
I hate bungling, and I hate brutality. To me there is something repugnant in merely striking
a man with one's naked fist--faugh! it is sickening! So, to shoot, or stab, or club John
Claverhouse (oh, that name!) did not appeal to me. And not only was I impelled to do it
neatly and artistically, but also in such manner that not the slightest possible suspicion
could be directed against me.
To this end I bent my intellect, and, after a week of profound incubation, I hatched the
scheme. Then I set to work. I bought a water spaniel bitch, five months old, and devoted my
whole attention to her training. Had any one spied upon me, they would have remarked that
this training consisted entirely of one thing--retrieving. I taught the dog, which I called
"Bellona," to fetch sticks I threw into the water, and not only to fetch, but to fetch at once,
without mouthing or playing with them. The point was that she was to stop for nothing, but
to deliver the stick in all haste. I made a practice of running away and leaving her to chase
me, with the stick in her mouth, till she caught me. She was a bright animal, and took to the
game with such eagerness that I was soon content.
After that, at the first casual opportunity, I presented Bellona to John Claverhouse. I knew
what I was about, for I was aware of a little weakness of his, and of a little private sinning
of which he was regularly and inveterately guilty.
"No," he said, when I placed the end of the rope in his hand. "No, you don't mean it." And
his mouth opened wide and he grinned all over his damnable moon-face.
"I--I kind of thought, somehow, you didn't like me," he explained. "Wasn't it funny for me
to make such a mistake?" And at the thought he held his sides with laughter.
"What is her name?" he managed to ask between paroxysms.
"Bellona," I said.
"He! he!" he tittered. "What a funny name."
I gritted my teeth, for his mirth put them on edge, and snapped out between them, "She was
the wife of Mars, you know."
Then the light of the full moon began to suffuse his face, until he exploded with: "That was
my other dog. Well, I guess she's a widow now. Oh! Ho! ho! E! he! he! Ho!" he whooped
after me, and I turned and fled swiftly over the hill.
The week passed by, and on Saturday evening I said to him, "You go away Monday, don't
you?"
He nodded his head and grinned.
"Then you won't have another chance to get a mess of those trout you just 'dote' on."
But he did not notice the sneer. "Oh, I don't know," he chuckled. "I'm going up to-morrow
to try pretty hard."
Thus was assurance made doubly sure, and I went back to my house hugging myself with
rapture.
Early next morning I saw him go by with a dip-net and gunnysack, and Bellona trotting at
his heels. I knew where he was bound, and cut out by the back pasture and climbed through
the underbrush to the top of the mountain. Keeping carefully out of sight, I followed the
crest along for a couple of miles to a natural amphitheatre in the hills, where the little river
raced down out of a gorge and stopped for breath in a large and placid rock-bound pool.
That was the spot! I sat down on the croup of the mountain, where I could see all that
occurred, and lighted my pipe.
Ere many minutes had passed, John Claverhouse came plodding up the bed of the stream.
Bellona was ambling about him, and they were in high feather, her short, snappy barks
mingling with his deeper chest-notes. Arrived at the pool, he threw down the dip-net and
sack, and drew from his hip-pocket what looked like a large, fat candle. But I knew it to be
a stick of "giant"; for such was his method of catching trout. He dynamited them. He
attached the fuse by wrapping the "giant" tightly in a piece of cotton. Then he ignited the
fuse and tossed the explosive into the pool.
Like a flash, Bellona was into the pool after it. I could have shrieked aloud for joy.
Claverhouse yelled at her, but without avail. He pelted her with clods and rocks, but she
swam steadily on till she got the stick of "giant" in her mouth, when she whirled about and
headed for shore. Then, for the first time, he realized his danger, and started to run. As
foreseen and planned by me, she made the bank and took out after him. Oh, I tell you, it
was great! As I have said, the pool lay in a sort of amphitheatre. Above and below, the
stream could be crossed on stepping-stones. And around and around, up and down and
across the stones, raced Claverhouse and Bellona. I could never have believed that such an
ungainly man could run so fast. But run he did, Bellona hot-footed after him, and gaining.
And then, just as she caught up, he in full stride, and she leaping with nose at his knee,
there was a sudden flash, a burst of smoke, a terrific detonation, and where man and dog
had been the instant before there was naught to be seen but a big hole in the ground.
"Death from accident while engaged in illegal fishing." That was the verdict of the coroner's
jury; and that is why I pride myself on the neat and artistic way in which I finished off John
Claverhouse. There was no bungling, no brutality; nothing of which to be ashamed in the
whole transaction, as I am sure you will agree. No more does his infernal laugh go echoing
among the hills, and no more does his fat moon-face rise up to vex me. My days are
peaceful now, and my night's sleep deep.
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